I think everyone is on the shared pursuit of love. It’s one thing universally, that we all seek individually. We love, love. Who doesn’t? How can you not? Unless you’ve ran so far, and so fast at the first sight of vulnerability that you are now in the cosmos, without gravity. Even then, I am almost certain I would easily fall in love with the cosmos. Venus would be my new boyfriend.
With that being said, we covered the basics. Most of us love love, some of us run away, but what about the remainder?
The secret hopeless romantics who live in their fantasy of a Rom-Com randomly emerging through their everyday lives, but instantly get flustered and intimidated by the natural fear that runs through our veins.
I am no expert on love, given I’ve only had one serious relationship that I think was a bit faulty with a lack of genuine love and reciprocation, but I do think it’s safe to say (especially from that), our fear of love comes from expectation.
I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. It’s not only that over-romanticization we tend to do over somebody, but the constant replay of hopeful events you expect to happen too, with anybody. Things will never go the way they do in your head, which leads to a feeling of defeat. A lot of the times, when we are shown true colors, we neglect to see it for what it is also.
We live in our heads while our feet are on the ground and sometimes we miss that meeting point in the middle.
We’re all on the shared pursuit of love but I don’t think any of us know how to express that. The one’s who love love, fall victim to the over idealism of romance leading to repetitive heartbreaks. Those who run away from intimacy are most likely fleeting from past failed expectations. And the hopeless romantics who have been utterly single forever, are probably single because nobody has met their ridiculous fantasy. Expectations kill.
Love comes in many other forms aside from a lover. Love is someone sending you a movie or song recommendation because it made them think of you, it’s a friend dropping you off at the airport, it’s making your family a home cooked meal. Love is inside jokes, endless laughs, wiping someone’s tears, and saying “if you ever need to talk, I’m here.”
I think love could be simple. I think it is simple, but we make it complicated. Through expectations.
Sometimes I keep myself up at night stressing over if my loved one’s know how much I love them. I shed tears wondering if I’m a good enough sister, friend, daughter. I wonder if they know how much I think about them all, how much they really mean to me, and how I cherish every moment with them.
I want my dad to feel understood and my mom to feel supported. I want my sister to feel appreciated, and my brothers to feel nurtured and protected. I want my grandma to feel surrounded (by love), and my friends to feel heard.
Frankly, it doesn’t matter how much I may think of them, because guess what?!
Nobody can read minds.
Nobody will know how much you love them unless you actively show them.
The thoughts may count, but it’s the actions that matter.
We have to stop loving inside of our heads and start using our heart to physically embody it.
Don’t make love complicated. Stop thinking it’s so far out of reach. When you lose all expectation of what love should look like, only then you’ll see it’s been right before your eyes this whole time.
I think we all need to learn it’s easier to express love than to live in constant regret or fear of never receiving or giving enough. Easier said than done, but love is so precious. Don’t let it go to waste by sitting in silence, regardless of how loud our fear may be.
What are you doing to show your love today? Or are you just expecting everyone to read your mind?